Special guests: Peter Lorre and Joanie Sommers.
Jack introduces creepy and villainous Peter Lorre. Lorre claims he’s nothing like his movie image, all the while waving a switchblade around. To prove he’s adorable, he sings, “I Want a Girl, Just Like the Girl, Who Murdered Dear Old Dad.” Joanie Sommers follows with “I’ll Never Stop Loving You.” Jack says he’s been so nervous with Lorre around, he’s had nightmares. In his dream, Jack is in a doctor’s office when escaped murderer Lorre comes in and demands the doc give him a new face. When the bandages are unwrapped, he looks like Jack! (It’s Benny with padding and Lorre’s voice dubbed in.) He shoots Jack, planning to take over his identity. The fake “Jack” walks on stage, gets no laughs, and proceeds to shoot crew members and Don Wilson (“You die LOUSY!”, he sneers).
Just before Jack describes his dream, Don introduces him to “Mr. E.B. Jello” (Dave Willock), who flew all the way from Manchester, New Hampshire to promote the sponsor’s product- for less than altruistic reasons.
January 22, 1963
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