Special guest: Connie Francis.
Jack has some fun with a radio sound effects man, and talks about a jaywalking ticket. Connie Francis sings “Follow the Boys.” Don delivers a Jell-O commercial by claiming he’s not going to mention it at all. Sure enough, whenever he gets to the word “Jell-O”, he takes out a slide whistle and uses it.
In the sketch, Stephen Foster is a lousy hack songwriter, starving in a small cabin. His wife, Connie, pines for her old folks at home who live way down along the Suwanee River near the Camptown racetrack. A neighbor, Susanna, offers sympathy but is told “Don’t you cry for me.” Meanwhile, Jack is wasting time improvising a song that begins “apples are red” and tells them to shut up while he is concentrating. She gets an idea on how to inspire him when the butcher comes by to collect on an unpaid bill. It involves a shotgun.
February 19, 1963
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